No 16 from the Asylum

Hope you'll excuse my variation from the norm with the things that have annoyed and amused me.But I promise to mix them with pretty girls doing whatever,so please indulge me.
Don't know how many other fools were taken in by the latest health advice but I got it slightly wrong.I thought I was to eat ten veg's a day as opposed to fruit and veg.I spent a number of hours in a bemused state trying to think of ten veg I peas,processed peas,mushy peas,black peas and cabbage.DUH you numpty KK!!
Just when I thought the U.K.'s legal system couldn't get dafter I read that Mr.Hassan Massoum Ravandy an illegal who smuggled himself into the country seventeen years ago and as made a living since robbing and dealing drugs as just been awarded £40,000 in compo for being unlawfully detained for 17 months.

I don't know about you but apart from counting it I rarely check my change.I may have to change my habits after one of those funny plastic fivers(£5) turned out to be a collectors item and sold for £60,000 on EBay.
An article I read recently relates to things that caused embarrassment,it set me thinking of a friend who is well qualified in this area.
A number of years back when the technology of mobile phones was new and the camera phone was equally new my friend having given his wife a designer trim down below took a photo of his work and experimenting with the new photo text capability sent the said photo/text to another friend but made a mistake with the name in the address book,Martin was listed next to mother and guess who got the pic?


  1. As far as your diet goes, I commend you for being nutrition-conscious but I'd just say count all varieties of peas as a single choice and include daily helpings of green, leafy vegetables; a red or orange vegetable [choose from tomatoes, beets (if you don't like beets in general, I recommend trying the sweet, pickled variety), carrots, squash, sweet potatoes or yams] and some dark-coloured fruit (choose from blueberries, dark, sweet cherries, black raspberries, etc. ... strawberries would also do well) ... That should be a good start in the fruit-and-vegetable dept. ...

    Regarding the moron who was compensated, I'd say that turns out to be about £2352 per month ... Not bad ... Not bad at all ... If he comes over to 'Murkinland and attempts to rob me, I'd fuck him over so damn much I'd amputate his sorry arse and to hell with detaining it (and for those who think that's easier said than done ... they're right ... because I've already done it ... but believe me it was damn well worth it ...) ... As compensation, the would-be robber got 4 yrs. in his new dream home ... It's equipped with terrific balconies for surveying the countryside along with private fencing (Click HERE) and his neighbours are the friendliest people he could ever have (Click HERE) ...

    As far as your friend goes (if you ever contact him again and mention your post) ... Tell him to get a good night's sleep to avoid embarrassing himself ... (Helps keep the memory good, too, for counting the change.)


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